“If you want to move forward, you’ll have to start with the bottom line: what do you need to do so you can survive and build? Forget about complicated maneuvers. Turn your attention to what you want, and get to work. “ ~ http://rubyslipper.ca
I truly hope that with all of this challenging energy you have been able to attain high levels of self-care, a balanced view of your life and our shared difficulties and an expansive connection to yourself. We are truly shocked by what we face these days, but I want to ask a question about this. What if what we are seeing is our own self-treatment? What if the pain-body projection is coming to us in larger than life materialism? What if it’s showing us that we have valued things over people? Are we being shown that we truly are not valuing ourselves?
This Venus retrograde is the harshest of all her aspects; the failure of love. As Venus goes into the underworld we face the ultimate rejection: that our efforts to make ourselves beautiful and lovable have failed. Because she enjoys and bestows all things beautiful, refined in retreat she is simply not feeling her value. Coupled with Uranus square Pluto we are trying WAY too hard to defend against the ugly. And what is ugly? PAIN is ugly. Pain makes do the ugliest things. It is here for one purpose: to awaken us to change.
The danger is not in having a negative emotion, it is in staying in that emotion and acting from that space of pain toward others. The danger is in not asking for help when we need it or humbling ourselves enough to admit mistakes. There is a purpose to the pain. If we can be with it, accept it and allow it for just a few minutes we can see that pain carries a very potent message and one that we almost never heed: love yourself, value yourself, honor yourself.
Here’s another great message from pain: get out of your head. Your head may try to convince you of a great many things. Your heart will wait for you to ask. Your heart is a pretty quiet organ unless it is singing or keeping the beat. Do what makes your heart sing if you are lucky enough to know what those things are and have access to them. Be with people who make your heart sing if you are near them.
This Vernal Equinox Saturn is stationing at the Galactic Center. May the lessons of Lunar Yoga serve you well: recognize the polarities and commit to stay in mental, physical, emotional and spiritual integrity and balance. It’s a tall order, but it focuses energy to have goals.
Speaking of goals, I don’t want to complain or sound unbalanced, but my efforts to prove I am good for the Czech Republic are endlessly hindered and agonized. Talk about unrequited love! I have earned a certificate that is universally recognized and another that puts me ahead of the game with experience. I have several great references, have met some amazing people and have seen 5 European countries on a shoestring budget, but the fact remains: the Zivnostensky list visa is not in my possession after 5 months of effort. Being not quite legal in a place that doesn’t have discernible laws is too much expansion for me.
For so many reasons I have decided to turn my efforts toward returning home. I am satisfied with what I have done and right now I am really struggling here. I need to be back in the US. I know I have asked for help so many times that you are probably just tired of hearing it, I understand and regret that, but I am sinking despite all my efforts to float.
I will know more in the next week about when I actually can leave and am already applying for summer jobs that provide food and boarding in MT. I filled out an application to see if I can stay at the YWCA, but if you know anyone who would like to see an extensive manager/trainer/teacher CV or needs a roommate, would you let me know? I hope to be home by the end of May, if not sooner. As for the rest, there are still ways to donate if you can help me take advantage of this opportunity to try to embrace change again. Please see the links below. Thank you so much. Please reach back if you have some time, I can’t tell you how much I would love to hear from you.
I’m going to let this be the last entry to our Lunar Flow Yoga Blog, we’ll start something new when I get home. I‘m sorry I missed the last full moon, please forgive my shortcomings. I’m grateful for you for even reading this far.
Mind Your Heart,