This Planet was Conceived in Love



Water fall over me, wash imbalance away.

Sun shine brightly, warm my soul this day.

Wind blow gently, whisper wisdom in my ear.

Earth rise to meet me, cradle me safe and near.

With the spirit of nature,

I am never alone.

I have arrived.

I am home.

May the grace that is given me be shared with those who need it most in this moment.  May the Family of Humanity rise strong from her struggle.  May we not just awaken, may we unite in mercy, compassion and the primordial love in which we were conceived.


Solstice Celebration: The Longest Day

Well Yoganauts, it’s the moment where the sun stands still.  In the northern hemisphere the earth is at perihelion to the sun and in the southern hemisphere it’s at aphelion, which is the point farthest from the sun.  North of the equator it’s the longest day, south thereof, the longest night.  Many things are at critical mass.  Have you cultivated the capacity to stand more?


Chief Mountain sacred to the Blackfeet.  I live on their Reservation.

Vedic Mars is retrograde at this moment, dominating the energy.  It’s just not a good time to begin new projects, extending your already stretched self further.  However, it is a great time to refine processes we have already begun, clean up messes we have already made and forgive ourselves and our past.  There’s a grief energy in the healing crisis.  Moving into the new means resolving the past.  It’s uncomfortable.  The way we thought it was is not the way it is.  It’s an ego death when Mars goes backward.  Old structures, even unhealthy ones, are still supporting us.  New structures of stability have not yet been made.


Swiftcurrent Creek and Boulder Ridge, Many Glacier

I guess it’s true for me, too.  I have been furiously applying for new jobs, trying to find a more comfortable, better organized, more ethical organization to work with and, of course, as always seems to happen, I found a powerful, inspirational ally and mentor, built a structure with her to protect the staff here and got our little supermarket and convenience store running like clockwork (ok, more like Stonehenge) then grew attached to the people.  Krishnamurti, I wish people were not so easy to love, but the fact is I am responsible for the summer employment experience and safety of about 20 millennials and a few adults whom I enjoy working with.  It. Is. Not. Boring.

I don’t know how to give a half effort.  Unless something better comes along I will be standing here where the prairie meets the Rocky Mountain front and the rivers flow to all of the oceans cleaning up the messes, refining processes and, I hope, aiding positive growth.  Dammit.  My immediate boss is pretty spectacular.  I am going to include her on this email in appreciation.  I think she has the capacity to see the blog and not have me committed to an institution.  Or if she does, she’ll probably book our rooms next to each other.  We’ll probably make it through this summer, Seana and I, but our sanity is already being tested.  Anyway, she’s got my back and I have hers, so we got that going for us (in my best Bill Murray from Caddy Shack impersonation).


Coming into the St. Mary Valley from the North (powerlines, derp).

This year, the Northern Hemisphere summer solstice will occur at 4:07 am MDT on June 21st.  That will be Thursday. I will be in Whitefish at a sweet little hotel with a pool and a hot tub, far away from anyone who knows my name for a little bit.  It’s intense here.  I bet it’s intense where you are, too.  I don’t have any particular insight for this celestial phenomenon except to ask each of you, to connect with the Earth in some way on that day. If you feel appreciation, show it.  If you feel pain ask her to recycle it and give you something different.  She’s generous.  She will help.

Just like us, she passes through cycles of polarity again and again and still, she manages the balance that sustains life for 7 billion human hearts every day (not to mention all the other hearts here, too). Every day, I am inspired to begin again by her.  Thank you, Gaia. Thank you, cursed St. Mary, for making me grow beyond what I thought I could do every single day since April 20th.


Big Mountain in Whitefish, hold my calls (powerlines, derp.)

So this is not the usual Vedic lunar yoga blog, I just wanted to connect and share some photos that I hoped you would like.  I hope to have time to keep up with the astrology as we move into eclipse season on the Cancer/ Capricorn axis.  It’s going to be exciting.  But just in case I don’t get back to you until August (I am speed dating about 2.2 million people in July) I wanted to say thank you as we celebrate the brightest day of the light.  Grateful to all of you and the opportunity to express my little piece of cosmic observation.  This rhythm of the sun and the earth is the reason we have life.  It took 4 billion years to get this far.  I didn’t get this far only to get this far. Onward.


Waterton, B.C.


Waterton, B.C.


Waterton, B.C.


Red Eagle Mountain in my backyard.


About 10 miles in on the Going to the Sun Rd.  It’s still being cleared of snow.


My friend Barb’s hand.


Practicing in April.  This field is green and filled with flowers, I will get another photo soon.  I love this spot.


From behind the Supermarket.


From my kitchen window.  After the rain comes sun, after the sun comes rain, baby.  Keep going.


Mind your heart and know that I care VERY deeply for your well-being,





I Have the Self-Love to Define Myself and My Boundaries. New moon June 13th 1:43pm MDT

This new moon (a time of introspection where a new cycle begins in darkness) falls in the Vedic lunar mansion called Mrigashira between Taurus and Gemini ((23º20 Taurus to 6º39 Gemini) in the Orion constellation.  It is ruled by Soma, the Moon God whose name also means also the magical elixir of immortality to which nearly the whole of the Rig Veda is a hymn to.  It is the searching star, the star of the quest for understanding and desire to gain mastery over plants.  It’s symbol is the deer head or the crown chakra of the deer.

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“Mrigashira is where we seek the perfection of our creative desires. It is the urge of being fulfilled and satiated by the achievement of our goal. Through this quest, the birth of intellectual insight and meaning begin to take place. Mrigasira, meaning “Deer Head”, has the strength, courage and perseverance of the spiritual warrior, but with the grace and tranquility of a deer. Being sensitive and inquisitive, Mrigasira types like to lay a thorough foundation and weave intricate patterns to gain understanding and true experience.   Here we take bliss in the pursuit of the highest fulfillment of perfection and beauty.” ~

Mrigashira Nakshatra Characteristics & Features:

Mrigashira Nakshatra Ruling Planet Mars
Nakshatra Number  5
Nakshatra Gender Neutral
Nakshatra Symbol Antelope’s head
Animal Symbol Female Serpent
Presiding Deity Soma, the Moon God
Nature Devas (God-like)
Dosha Pitta
Mrigashira Nakshatra Rashi (Zodiac) Mithun (Gemini)
Guna Tamasic
Element Earth
Disposition Soft, Mild, Tender (Mridu)
Mrigashira Nakshatra Baby Names  Names start with Ve, Vo, Ka, Kee (see Padas of Mrigashira)


Mrigashira Nakshatra

We must contemplate the dual nature of desire at this lunation.  We are grounded in Taurus energies, but moving into the sign of the twins and the nakshatra is ruled by Mars.  The temptation to unknowingly project characteristics we find unacceptable in ourselves onto others can be strong here.  Conversely there is the temptation to see what we want to see in the words and reactions of other people.

The sign of the twins points to relationship in the most basic way and this particular lunation runs with that ball since the zodiacal opposites Venus and Mars align perfectly.  Exactly perfectly.  The cosmic lovers are both really closely aligned to Rahu and Ketu, the nodes of the moon, the shadow planets which give us our points in Cancer and Capricorn for the eclipses coming in July.  Vedic astrology does a much better job of giving us the cosmic impetus for the #MeToo global movement, but beyond that it points to the rift within each one of us between the penetrative, forward moving forces and the receptive, nurturing tendencies we feel.

Vedic chart of the new moon.

So the focus is on intense relationship.  Sigh.  It’s not an easy time on planet 3.  The wild deer is an innocent herbivore with the heart of Soma: pure, intellectual and agile.  But she is always ready to run.  She is gentle, but anxious.  The churning mind leaves the body restless and the desire nature is ill at ease with a dynamic world that cannot be fully understood.  For the true creature of mind trust is ambiguous, power is capricious and desire is seductive.  Essentially, we will need calming at this time.

These have been ongoing principles in my yoga classes: self care and gentle practice.  I don’t want to lie to you, I have taken some heat for this and missed some opportunities because I believe in them so strongly.  A wise woman (Kelly Baraby) told me some years back about BKS Iyengar’s opinion on yoga in the west.  I can’t find the quote, but he basically felt that we need restorative movement and breathing that brings us back to the interior experience.  The worship of science and materialism have taught us to distrust the instinct and the wisdom of the body.  Now is the time to critically examine any ideology or relationship to a system of thought that does not bring us peace within.

Western (Tropical) chart of the new moon

“The deer of Mṛgaśīrṣā sniffs the ground in search of Soma in healthy and delicious herbs, but the human spirit sniffs at the paths of life in search of Soma in the form of eternality and bliss.”  –Vic DiCara, 27 Stars, 27 Gods

How Mrigasira became a constellation:

“Brahma (the Creator) had a daughter who was very beautiful and to whom he was sexually attracted.  His daughter sensed his attraction so she took the form of a deer and ran away.  Brahma then took the form of a stag and chased her across the heavens.  When Rudra (aka Shiva) found out what was happening he cut off the head of the stag in order to prevent the incestuous relationship from taking place.  The stag’s head became the nakshatra of Mrigashira  –James Kelleher, Path of Light Volume 1  ~

SO!  I don’t usually get to tackle such and ugly topic, but I have to admit I am eager to take a swing at this one.  It satisfies my own need to project and “see the mote in another’s eye” while revisiting our earlier discussion about magical will.  Indulge me a moment.  Maybe you have heard a bout a book called “The Secret” or “positive thinking” or “mental science”?  These are about idea that our desires are all that matter and we should use mental focus on them to force the world to suit us.  This blog stands against that idea.

This blog is a bout a both/and world where we invite and invoke the larger wisdom of the planet and the cosmos to inform our experience, our lives, our practices and our decisions.  Most especially, this blog advocates inviting the natural world, the water-heavy, oxygen-rich eco-biome (or W.H.O.R.E.) to help refine our evolution by observing the processes of the moon and the seasons.  Maybe you are laughing because I am all upset about people thinking positively, but I am and I am not alone.  Check this out if it interests you:

My point is, there are victims in the world.  We cannot indulge every desire and we most assuredly cannot make a quest out of bedding our daughters, yet cultural programming has us doing violence to each other and the planet every day and has desensitized us to the consequences of our actions.  No matter what magical protocol I am exploring I still inhabit a 3D world and I am responsible for the the results of my actions.  I worry because I feel that there is a larger program at work that aims to divorce us from our humanity.

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In the myth Rohini is saved by Shiva the Destroyer who decapitated the rampant Brahma.  While we may not have such powerful allies, Tropical astrology does offer us a divine connection in this new cycle to channel divinity: the North node of the moon is in Leo and Mercury is in trine (favorable relationship) to Uranus.  This makes me smile because it’s like a cosmic sneeze of creativity.  What you seek you carry within and it may present itself suddenly.  Keep in mind something is trying to show itself to us through us so draw, paint, dance, sing, write or sculpt something into the world.

We may be able to really make something brilliant out of our vulnerability, our humanity and our compassion.  I don’t think directing the universe to deliver the goods with new age mental science is going to access this beauty, this authenticity or this purity.  This is more of a “Shiva take the wheel” scenario.  The creation may be driven by hunger, but it will be satisfied in humility.  If we care about ourselves and love ourselves we cannot continue to do things that are toxic for us, we have to do the things that feed our souls.  Now is the time to make the time.

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As always, I want to advocate for actually taking time to feel what you are feeling and sit in appreciation of your body.  There is a line between feeling what we feel fully and being paralyzed, pulverized and petrified by what we fully feel.  To walk that line is to be a human.  This moment is always the singularity.  I choose which thoughts I think.  Literally.  I’m not kidding.  I have a conversation with the news-feed in my head.  Some of the stuff I find in there is sincerely not mine.  When I recognize a thought or a sentiment that is unwanted or unfamiliar, I say so, even if only mentally.  Because deep down I know that if I pretend my shadow is not there it will destroy my world.  I mean, isn’t that what has happened to American culture?

These days I am especially appreciative of my brain, my heart and my belly or my 3 minds as I like to think of them.  When we think of the genius technologies of Uranus and Mercury, let’s not forget the wisdom of the body.  It gets ill when we are doing the wrong things, yo. That is a pretty amazing piece of techne in my view. Thought did not create that and it’s no mistake either.

My world is not particularly rational right now.  I have not worked in a corporate culture for almost 10 years and I gotta tellya, very little of what I do makes sense.  I am getting used to being repeatedly thrown under the bus, but it’s not good business so I can’t help but wonder what it’s actually for.  Lucky for me, my intuition and the skills I have practiced of feeling my way into things, loving, valuing, honoring myself and having a sense of humor are serving me well.  For now.

It is said that hell is a place where people have private tables and plenty of soup but the spoons are too long to get the nourishment into one’s mouth.  In the same story, heaven has the same soup and spoons, but the tables are long and everyone just feeds the person seated across from them.  May your intuition guide you to the seat that will nourish you best among the people you would most enjoy feeding and being fed by.  I may be at the wrong table, but I can honor my need to get up and leave.

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New Moon in Taurus: Unstoppable Force Meets Immovable Object (Tuesday May 14, 5:47am)

The New Moon in Taurus seeks to secure the gains of the previous Aries cycle.  The Taurus cycle is about the purification of the SURVIVAL desire.

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The archetype of Taurus is fixed Earth.  It rules agriculture, nutrition, money and survival itself.  Consensus Taurus relies upon external security.  Individuated Taurus is secure in the self as the ultimate resource.

Spiritually realized Taurus is the Sahdu in the loincloth.

Embodied soul is the perfect certainty that the source will provide for all my needs and desires.

This wisdom can only be gained through experience.

It is not theory, it is practice.  It is sadhana.

This wisdom is earned by walking through the fire.

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It’s always exciting to me when the Vedic and tropical charts have a lunation cycle in the same sign.  It does make choosing which asanas to practice easier (that’s what I typically do for classes: choose which poses I will use to balance my personal energy given the cosmic energy then share that with you), but it makes writing this blog a little more coherent as well.

I think western tropical astrology does a pretty good job of discussing personal psychological cycles (even though it is not astrologically “true” (whatever THAT means these days)) to the stars and it totally excludes the southern hemisphere in it’s calculations. I think Vedic astrology is as close to a perfect system as we have in ANY discipline to describe the soul’s journey and the larger cycles of planetary and species evolution, so when they agree in the sign of a new moon, I feel more sure somehow, that my both/and approach here has some merit.

I only know of one other person who includes both modalities and his name is Michael Conneely of Starwheel Astrology.  He is the most authentic, humble, diversified British guy who has a healing center with his wife Maggie in Sligo, Ireland and of the month of May he notes:

“This can be a case of ‘out of darkness light’. Note that this can be a huge opportunity for you to use the distress or disempowerment to take two magical empowering steps:
a. You have opportunity and reason to develop Occult Awareness, and
b. This is a crucial chance to identify, develop and use your Magical Will.” ~

I love this interpretation.  Truly, there is so much happening in these charts that it is hard not to toss my hands up trying to understand it all, much less write something coherent for you, but because we are all in this together and the acceleration of change is coming faster for all of us, I name it dharma and offer it to us both (as it is) in love.

Here’s the Western chart.

So while it may not look like much, what we can’t see on the surface is all the motion close to the cusps that is occurring.  Uranus, bigger than the Earth, who orbits the sun sideways with his 97 degree axial tilt and his 27 moons is the change maker, the earth-shaker, the malatov cocktail of the zodiac and he will change signs into Taurus on the new moon. His influence has characteristically been to disrupt in order to ultimately liberate, but he doesn’t mind wrecking the place in order to shake us out of complacency.  See previous posts re: “Any further denial will only deepen the crisis.”

This is a very powerful time to own what you know and update your desires with regard to material world concerns and the invisible landscape. Uranus in Taurus FOR THE NEXT 8 YEARS translates as celestial~terrestrial unity.  Heaven (explosive, otherworldly lightening) meets Earth (stable and secure to the point of stagnation)).  Yep. Could get a little, erm, shocking. Electrifying even.

So as we are trying desperately to sustain and stabilize the gains that we made in the Aries cycle (where we just were BORN for Pete’s sake) we are now tasked with trying to survive in a brand new, completely alien landscape, where Uranus will be throwing lightening-bolts at us.  But wait. It gets better.  Mars, the god of war, stands at a hard angle to Uranus forcing the urge to act on our desires for survival without thought, heedless of others, in primal reactivity.  The effect is like finally bursting forth from a stuck place only to see that we need to rework the plan mid-flight if we are going to bounce and not break. “Bend like a reed in the wind,” my friends.  If there ever was a time for humor and compromise, this is it.

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The Pleiades (Seven Sisters in a Circle) is where Krittika, the lunar mansion of this new moon takes place. One o’clock on the chart below.

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There’s a lot of excitement and fear in the planetary energy due to the sheer velocity and strength of Mars, Uranus and Taurus. The lunation in Krittika nakshatra offers the way to healing through cauterization.  Krittika is ruled by Agni, the lord of fire and is represented by the ax, the flame and the razor.  The fact is, there are some things in our lives that we have become complacent about or we know we should change but are not sure how.  The next 28 days will show us. This is good news (believe it or not).

This placement of Uranus at 0 degrees of Taurus in the tropical chart (I wonder where it is in your chart?) and the collision of heaven and earth is the place where old habits change, where decrepit objects are released and restricting attachments are lessened.  Things, patterns and mindsets that are past their sell-by date are repeatedly worn away until you love a simpler thing, learn to travel light and value quality over quantity.  This impact will blast away the ballast in your life and the obstacles in your way.  Roll with it, allow, allow, allow what has got to leave to go.

A gorgeous question to ask ourselves at this point is, “Am I attached to suffering?”.  Do I have Stockholm syndrome with my demons?  Shift and crisis always come with the opportunity for liberation. Uranus square the first quarter Mars can overstimulate  unhealthy bonds and accelerate the pace and urgency of our desire nature in general (it is spring after all).  I am trying very hard to be easy, flexible and forgiving as an antidote.  I am trying to remember that “choice is mine to make and time is mine to take” as Townes Van Zant once sang.  This can be a catastrophic or evolutionary time depending on my ego process.

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Am I polarized and dualistic in my mental processes?  Do I have a  need to see this moment and the things in my life in terms of either/or, black/white and mine/theirs?  The events of the next 28 days could alter that forever.  Am I connected to my feeling body and through her to the Earth, opening my heart to this amazing adventure and softening into soul? Commitment to my authentic exploration wide open to life’s possibility could catapult me into realms previously unknown.  It could take all I have to be swiftly altered in a grounded way, but I can do it, I certainly can.

Is there any way you can conceive that you’d be happy to change your beliefs and values?  This wacky boomeranging moon could do this.  Doesn’t that sound intriguing? Isn’t it fascinating to think that you might choose to change and not be forced to do it? I have always loved Joseph Campbells’ idea that we might voluntarily participate in the suffering of the world and own this earthwalk experience in mastery and magical freewill choice.  I love to entertain the idea that I came into all this danger and cataclysm in complete confidence that I have the full support of creator creating creation.

Here’s the Sidereal Chart the Vedics use.

The beauty of free-fall from failed flight is that it may force the memory of the lost Lemurian art of Landing to resurface from the Akashic record.  Uranus and Mars are great mental archetypes as well as disruptors and change agents.  Uranian genius and Martian strategy are the stuff of legend and, let’s face it, the monkeys on planet 3 very seldom ever really get cookin’ until they are absolutely backed into a corner.  Only then do we Captain Kirk our way out of our self-imposed dilemmas. Never doubt that we will find our way through this.  Biological life is older than many stars. We hold the line.

And anyway, do any of the things that are really grieving us right now make ANYONE truly happy?  Is war making us happy?  Are political divisions helping us manage life on Earth? Is destruction of our one planet helping morale all up in here?  Come on!  The animals don’t even treat each other as badly as we do and THEY are supposed to be LESS evolved. My point is, we have got this, we are built for this moment and we are going to turn this battleship around, release the hostages and prisoners and liberate OURSELVES.  We are freeing energy from matter and lifting matter into a new dimension with energy simultaneously and that is why, I think, it feels so very hard.

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Wisdom is an open heart and and open mind.  This current cycle will strengthen psychic power and intuitive understanding.  It’s a karmic bloom and a harvest and it is deep, deep earth magic.  There never was a time like this.  Reorder through disorder.  Know that no one and nothing can suck the humanity, magic and joy out of  life or the Universe if we solidly practice those things. If we commit to those things they live.  If we become those things they meet eternity through us. I make joy my sadhana.  I make self-care my vow. I seize the opportune moment.  Carpe noctem.

Mind your heart,


A note on timing: if you do new moon intentions (sankalpa) best to do after the lunation, so it’s ok I am so late.  I earn proximity to Glacier Park through long hours these days. Forgive and love lives.

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Full Moon in Vedic Libra and Tropical Scorpio, Sunday 29 April 6:58pm MST: Intense Winds — Beware of Low Flying Trains

A Buddhist Prayer of Forgiveness
If I have harmed any one in any way,
either knowingly or unknowingly
through my own confusions,
I ask their forgiveness.
If any one has harmed me in any way,
either knowingly or unknowingly
through their own confusions,
I forgive them.
And if there is a situation
I am not yet ready to forgive,
I forgive myself for that.
For all the ways that I harm myself,
negate, doubt, belittle myself,
judge or am unkind to myself,
through my own confusions,
I forgive myself.
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It’s a bit blowy, yo.
Dane Rudhyar, pioneer of transpersonal astrology, saw the relationship of the sun and the moon as the process of developing humanity’s spiritual capacity.  The sun is a geyser of information which the cycle of lunation prepares us to integrate and accept by diffusing the intensity. The lunar cycle is a type of cosmic mercy, saving us from complete overwhelm. The opposition aspect (the 180 degree relationship or the full moon) can deliver the full whammy of growth and liberation if a positive attitude has prevailed during MOST of the the waxing period, in Rudhyar’s view.  It may have been a tough go this time, since most of what was received in the last 15 days was delivered through contrast and dualism, without which, Rudhyar believed humans cannot perceive form.  It’s just the limitation of the instrument we inhabit and the means of evolution.  Not to worry. “Slack will be given,” as the Church of the Sub-Genius reminds us.
Another factor that made the end of April challenging was the way it reminded us of the difficulty inherent in being human.  As we approach this full moon in tropical Scorpio, where separating desires meet their exhaustion, this is productive discomfort.  We are inclined to allow the humanity of mistakes, errors and general shoulder-shrugging.  This difficulty and contrast is like the final push of the sprouted seed through the soil or the sand that produces a pearl.  I suspect everyone is sleep-deprived and a little disoriented in the new atmosphere.  Let’s be gentle with each other AND OURSELVES while we adjust to all this light. (As if to prove this to myself, I nearly made a mistake that deleted the  previous 2 paragraphs. Ahem.) Furthermore, there is this thing I wrote: and should you need to let yourself off the hook.  Now would be good, do that now, perhaps.
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 This full moon falls in the Vedic lunar mansion called Swati.  Here’s an amazing description of what that means from

“Swati (The priest, the sword) (6°40 to 20°20′ Libra)

Swati is represented in the night sky by the single star of Arcturus (Alpha-Bootis). This is the main star in the constellation of Boötes /boʊˈoʊtiːz/. In the astrology chart, Swati resides entirely in the sign Libra. Swati translates as “Independent one.” The symbol of this nakshatra is a young plant blowing in the wind, which represents flexibility and agility as well as restlessness. The ruling deity Vayu, the God of wind, bestows a strong, yet gentle nature to this star. Rahu (North node of the moon) is the planetary ruler and signifies hidden potential. Those born under Swati are humble and often need to be informed of their own potential for greatness. They have an openness to learn new information, but must also avoid indecision and procrastination. Those born under Swati are diplomatic and they use charm to navigate the world. These people have strong beliefs in social etiquette and try to fit into society. Swati can bring success later in life. The essence of Swati is balance and people born under this star take their time to act.

General Characteristics: Compassionate, sweet voice, soft spoken, expects positive outcomes, charitable, merciful, independent, controls desires.
Translation: “Independent”
Symbol: Young sprout quivering in the wind, Sword;Coral;
Animal Symbol: Male Buffalo (some say antelope)
Presiding Deity: Vayu, The God of wind.
Controlling Planet: Rahu
Ruling Deity of Rahu: Durga
Nature: Devas (god-like)
Mode: Passive
Number: 15
Gender: Female
Dosha: Kapha
Guna: Tamasic
Element: Fire
Disposition: Moveable
Common Name: Queen’s Flower
Botanical Name: Lagerstroemia speciosa
Seed Sounds: Ru, Re, Ro, Ta
Also related to Planets: Venus, as the ruler of Libra.”  ~

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It’s also associated with Vayu, Hanuman’s dad. Here’s a description from Wikipedia: “Vāyu (SanskritSanskrit pronunciation: [ʋaːju]) is a primary Hindu deity, the lord of the winds, the father of Bhima and the spiritual father of Hanuman. He is also known as Anil (“Air, Wind”), Vyān (Air), Vāta (“Airy Element”), Tanun(The Wind), Pavan (“The Purifier”),[1] and sometimes Prāṇa (“The Breath”).” ~  Vayu is described in some of the Upanishads as the strongest of all the elemental gods, he’s a great hero and guardian of the heart chakra.  Wind strengthens the sprouted seed and is the fundamental foundation of all action.  Someone who cares very deeply for you has assembled and entire page of pranayama (breathing exercises) for you to try (now would be a VERY good time to use them–click the “blog” heading at):

This lunar mansion is also represented by Saraswati, the star of all self-inquiry and goddess of music and intellect.  She is my personal ishta devata and during Navratri 2017 she literally came to me in a dream (this has never happened to me before or since) and taught me to sing evil to sleep instead of resisting it. True story.  Jai Maa Saraswati.

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From Astroved: “Saraswathi is the consort of Lord Brahma. She is embodiment of purity and knowledge. Her four arms are symbolic of four facets of enlightenment: Intelligence, Insight, memory and cleverness. Goddess Sarawathi is the deity of all Learning and Arts and also she is the Goddess of speech. Through spiritual practice of mantra and prayers to her, one will acquire powerful oratory skills. You can offer prayers to Goddess Saraswathi through Saraswathi Pooja & Mantra application to gain sacred knowledge to overcome all the difficulties of life.” ~ (And sometimes she just mercifully hands the information over, whether you pooja or not.)

Wikipedia has another detailed description: “A hamsa or swan is often located next to her feet. In Hindu mythology, the hamsa is a sacred bird, which if offered a mixture of milk and water, is said to be able to drink the milk alone. It thus symbolizes the ability to discriminate between good and evil, essence from outward show and the eternal from the evanescent.[24] Due to her association with the swan, Saraswati is also referred to as Hamsavāhini, which means “she who has a hamsa as her vehicle”. The swan is also a symbolism for spiritual perfection, transcendence and moksha.[22][27]“.   ~

As if all those gorgeous associations were not enough this is also the Vedic moon of Wesak, the most important Buddhist festival of the year celebrating the life, death and enlightenment of Gautama Buddha.  So wisdom is kind of a big deal right around now.  When my reactive thoughts spin me off the tilt-o-whirrled, I mentally repeat “Higher Mind”, breathe deeply and try to shift gears.  I am learning so much about my identity and authenticity, it’s really humbling.

The photo above is from Sri Lanka.  Wesak is celebrated over so much of the planet and yet this moon is so very beautifully focused on you.  Yep.  You.  This Sunday is all about strengthening who you actually are.  Your identity, your creativity, your authenticity and YOUR power as a microcosm is being strengthened by pressure from the macrocosm. Bend, do not break.  Breathe and flow and by next weekend you’l be on to a new level. It’s charmingly conjunct Vedic Jupiter which brings optimistic, open-hearted expansion to your wholeness, your completeness and your inner stability. This will continue for some time and reach perihelion on May 8.  So if you need to love yourself a little more (and who doesn’t?) now would be good.  Do that now, perhaps.

Inner stability during times of chaos and confusion is tested.  Anxiousness, doubt and tension are signals of emotional overwhelm and the precursors of traumatic disassociation. We must be there for ourselves, ready to love, soothe and care when we hurt. The sun was recently conjunct Uranus in both the Vedic and the Tropical chart.  As I have stated many times, we are processing a lot of energies that are not our own, we are responsible to the generational “karma” of our species and ancestral trauma that has been denied and ignored.  We are all tired of seeing this, but here it is: any further denial will only deepen the crisis, and Uranus is the vehicle of the liberating crisis.  It’s move into tropical Taurus and Vedic Aries is unlikely to be gentle.  Again, take care of yourself.  No one can do that as well as you can.


St. Mary River

You’re quite right to notice the lack of justice: state it aloud. Observe it.  Acknowledge the sheer awfulness of it.  Then remember the moon.  Remember the phase transitions, remember this will not last forever.  Remember that this is a process and it will shift if we breathe and move.  Be prepared to remain present–no future tripping, no past ruminating–please.  It’s really a beautiful moment, the Irish call it Beltane (yes, another symbol!) halfway through spring and halfway to summer, but it’s challenging. Don’t sit in self doubt, hear the inner critic, but do not let it drive the car, as Elizabeth Gilbert says. Try some weighted blankets or extra sandbags in your practice.  Get plenty of rest and try some of these for relief:


St. Mary Lake

And if you’re still not feeling the total exhilaration of the spring festivals, let’s remind ourselves that Chiron (the wounded healer) is transiting/has transitioned into Aries for the 1st time in 50 years.  The nature of Chiron’s wound is that it cannot be healed, but in Aries we may be able to respond and not react.  We may be able to act out who we really are in our compassionate humanity if we focus the strength and wisdom of the warrior.  We may be able to find the strength from our pain.  We just might embody the wound that heals others.  Aries exercises will, determination and embodied strength. Aries is the athlete that can move trauma out of the physical and emotional body.  Let your love for who you really are give you the strength and determination to transmute suffering and ego death into the most loving energy of all: forgiveness.  Where there is forgiveness there is love.


Napi Point

This is full moon squares the moons nodes which represent ancestral and individual past and future (put way too simply, but hey, I am working A LOT).  This accentuates the projected need for love versus emotional self reliance.  I think of this with Chiron’s transit (and Uranus’–eep!) as the time for each of us to be the healer in this moment right where we are.  Embody forgiveness.  Give yourself your blessing.  Bless others.  All others.  Let the boundaries and walls go. Redeem and recover, but DO NOT REPEAT the past. When power beyond our control moves on the Earth, we must stand in our power, purpose and love.  I’ll stand here at the confluence of waters that touch the whole world be the love I feel. So much of it is for you, thank you.

Mind your heart,


PS I reread the new moon posting for this month with a bit of horror.  It was really incoherent and all over the place.  Those of you who know me know that I have problems with linear time and I sometimes get really ungrounded.  I am adjusting to this move and new job here at the corner of the Going to the Sun road with the usual ebb and flow of my tropical/Cancerian Vedic/Gemini bifurcation.  Here and gone.  As I learn myself even more deeply through this full moon (it’s a bit stark) I find having water that flows in 3 directions within a mile walk is really helpful.  It’s like a gentle container for me to learn better boundaries in.

If you are interested in knowing more examine the epic Glacier feature that I can literally walk to, Triple divide peak, the hydrological apex of the North American continent.





New Moon Sunday 15 April 2018, 7:57pm MDT Enter the Wound: The Only Way Out is THROUGH.

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This blog is about the moon.  Cold orb and celestial night light, here and gone, ever in process, always cycling, big as a billboard and then disappeared: the moon of Earth.  Because this blog is about the moon, it is also, of necessity, about the sun.  Just thinking about the two luminaries brings us back to wholeness.  The perfect unity of sun and moon circling Earth. We inhabit a “both/and”, “time/space”, “within/without” realm with “internal/external”, “light/dark”wallpaper.

The luminaries are united by their separation.  The moon reflects the light of the sun, without which life would not exist.  The sun’s intensity is mediated and sometimes eclipsed by the body of the moon.  They dance together, sometimes apart, sometimes in a impossibly perfect synergy which I sang praises and thanks for here.

We inhabit this same paradox in our bodies, minds and souls.  We seem called upon to master the riddle of our existence: as above so below, as within so without, the crucible of time and space, internal and external experience. Yoga and astrology are the tools with which we balance and embody these forces in this blog and in weekly classes.

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“Many astrologers often misinterpret the astrological nature of the Moon to mean emotion, when it does not. The Moon is about our capacity to flow with the motion of experience, to flow with the tides of life. The more we embody this capacity, the more we are able to have unconditional compassion and express that compassion in our lives despite any externalized turbulence occurring in our lives. When we are not centered in the Moon, in our core essence, a place of unconditional acceptance of all experience, we are easily drawn into the waves of emotion. This is why learning to live attuned to the lunar cycles helps us learn how to flow with the tides of experience. This allows us to fully assimilate our life experience because we have no resistance to it, thus we are able to transmute it into experientially gained wisdom, which we can then fully express.

E-motion is the resistance to the motion of experience. When we resist experience rather than embrace it, we create discordant patterning in the cellular fabric throughout various parts of our bodies, a psychic tapestry that distorts our expression, both physiologically and psychologically, and that creates reactional emotional tendencies. Continued resistance to experience and an unwillingness to embrace and resolve these stored patterns reinforces this tapestry creating more chronic conditions, which in turn reinforces discordant patterns of thought and behavior. This is why the Moon is sometimes miss-understood to represent these mental-emotional patterns rather than our capacity to dance with life.”~ Nick Anthony Fiorenza

Image result for richard moss how shall i live "To me Wholeness is the key to aliveness"

“To me, wholeness is the key to aliveness.  It is more than just physical vitality, it is radiance, coming from being at one with yourself and your experience.  Life then flows through you and radiates from you.” ~ Richard Moss How Shall I Live?  I must honor my integrity, I must find a way to act that reflects my wholeness, not my circumstance. In my life, neither darkness nor light dominates unless I decide it is so.  With both as complementary aspects I am able to move through my situation from discipline, character, self-authority, dignity and respect for myself.

This new moon in Aries is literally a once in a lifetime (tropical) event since it is conjunct Uranus, planet of explosive change and liberation, which has an 84 year orbit and is about to depart the sign of the ram and enter Taurus, but it will retrograde to this sign again.  I use Western astrology here to illuminate the personal psyche, so this meeting signifies a chance to reboot your self-esteem and give birth to a part of you that has been gestating since 2010.  This could be a chance to direct, harness and evolve personal development with nuclear force.  Is there something you long to break free of?  This is a powerful time to set an intention toward change as long as it is grounded in authenticity and love.  (See repeated drum banging re: DENIAL above and below.)


Image result for richard moss how shall i live "To me Wholeness is the key to aliveness"

It doesn’t really matter what I am going through what matters is who I am and that I embrace, with radical, unconditional acceptance who I am.  Only then can I fully accept life. Integrity is gnosis within.  Integrity means not abandoning myself to any outside force.  Integrity means that I know I have the ability to be in open-hearted empathy while remaining non-attached in present moment awareness.  Like titanium telfon, I am consciously aware that I am evolving through this space-time continuum bringing the luminosity from within to each moment I encounter.  I become aware of the ebb and flow of appropriate action in thought, word and deed as it concerns my person and no one else’s.

Poised at the 29th degree of Pisces, Chiron, the wounded healer resonates in the tropical chart.  Chiron is the shamanic teacher, he reminds us that our abundance lies in our greatest trauma.  It’s the place of our greatest compassion, the wellspring of our gift of healing for others.  Chiron’s wound (humanity’s wound) never fully heals on the Earth plane, but this is not our weakness.  It is our strength. We are all wounded and that fact binds us together as a collective to in mortality.  Aries hoists high the bloody spear from his warrior wound and proudly intones, “I am matter! I do matter!”.

This is mastery of the light body.  Bringing the “above” to the “below” or spirit to matter consciously, with love and discipline.  Fully being who you authentically are, inhabiting the vision that source has of you is the hardest thing you could attempt.  It is a cosmic action, embodiment. It’s also the only way to hold the crucible of time and space, inner and outer without psychosis or neurosis.  Stay sane.  Allow for set-backs, retrogrades, bungling and laughter.  Make time for lots of giggling and being silly.  If you’re not making mistakes while you learn mastery of the light body, the game is too easy for you.


New Moon Sidereal Chart


“There’s no time for hatred, only questions
What is love, where is happiness, what is life, where is peace?
When will I find the strength to bring me release?”

~Jeff Buckley Eternal Life

Embodiment is not about bringing my darkest, densest weaknesses to purity, but in holding them with the same respect and utility I do my highest health.  My authentic identity is not built from what I hope to be, it’s who I actually am.  Often who I actually am eludes conscious awareness because so much of my life is hidden from my understanding. My personal best guess is that I am roughly even in dark and light psychic parts. I can learn to proceed from the presumption of wholeness.

Neptune in tropical Pisces and Vedic Aquarius sing resonantly of oneness, truth, beauty and peace.  These harmonious aspects encourage us to stop the mind.  Venus in tropical Taurus and Vedic Aries says trust the body in nature, trust intuition and connection.  This is internal resurrection energy, outside strength will not sustain the new life. It has got to come from within, it has got to come through the wounding, the trauma and the darkness into the light and it must absolutely vibrate with healing, love and unity.  The ego story will crumble and become compost for this grounded, deliberate flower.


Helena, MT watercolor artist Jim Dushin

I can choose integration.  Who I actually am is existing in the most advanced technology in the known universe.  It took 4.5 billion years to create this body where 60 to 100 trillion cells operate in a harmony so sublime, so hidden from my understanding that I mostly don’t have to think about it.  My power is so complete that I rarely even have to wield it.  Yet I spend very little time focused on this aspect of my being and its’ perfect situation in nature.  I am easily tricked into being a part of someone else’s plan because I forget my own plan, my personal vision.

This new moon in Aries reminds me to keep gathering momentum toward my personal authenticity and act on my own inspiration.  The wisdom of the astrological pattern cannot be overstated in this moment where the outside world’s efforts to distract me from my own development, spirituality and allegiance to the Earth are at this fever pitch.  My deepest moral obligation is to find pleasure in what I am designed to do: live. Any further denial of my authentic self will only deepen the crisis. My authentic self has a decided dark side.  Time to pull back the curtain. Without fear.  Whatever is there is me.

Jupiter in Vedic Libra and tropical Scorpio asks us to redefine wealth by returning to the abundance of the senses and the true richness of this physical incarnation.  Our glory is our diversity.  Our beauty is Springtime in a human body, the unity of sex, the triumph of birth and the romantic melancholy of death.  Our ferocious vitality, our tenacious persistence, our dogged pursuit of justice, peace and love: these are the riches of humanity and the shining jewel in the crown is our boundless compassion.  Let us never forget that we own those things alongside the suffering and confusion we have inherited.

At last we claim the pioneering spirit, the adventure and danger of our true legacy as humans, now we will see the freedom that we know is real within us made manifest in the outside world.  When we free each other and ourselves from blame and judgement we are at last free to make the practice about wholeness.  We hide from nothing, we fear nothing because we know ourselves at heart to be compassionate and the heart of all change, all growth and  all happenings to be love.  At last we can forget the terrible fall into history and bootstrap our future to lasting peace, wonder and awe.


for Anna Grace, painting by Jim Dushin

Aries is the first cardinal sign of the zodiac, the initiator of springtime here in the West.  This is the start of a new emotional cycle of innovation, rising sap, decisive forward action, enthusiasm and assertiveness.  Anger, protest and self motivated assertiveness are being adjusted and reset.  On the day of this new moon, Mercury goes direct in the sign of the ram: a gigantic catalytic, dynamic and electrical potential is available to push forward our intentions and sankalpa for the next 28 days. The first four hours AFTER the new moon will be the most potent for intention setting.

Creating directives at this time that have the self, the identity, instinct and sustainability as a central focus may be in line with the celestial weather. Think first chakra issues: survival, trust, connection to the planet, honesty, resourcefulness and taking your self into account.  Also address your will to live, belonging and feeling welcomed. These may be hard to feel into right now, but take a peek. “What keeps you from being here, now? What keeps your awareness from being in the present moment? What scares you? What makes you feel anxious? This is the stuff that tends to un-ground you.” ~ Robin Hall  Take a good, long look.  Trust yourself.

Tropical Chart of the New Moon

That which is false will stand corrected.  It happens on it’s own.  Right now is always effortless being.  The happening is a wave: it arrives, crescendos and recedes.  And the happening in my personal life is heading to Glacier Park for the summer.  I am leaving on the 19th of April and will be in St. Mary’s managing the grocery store at the corner of Highway 89 and Going to the Sun Road.  I have been looking for a more “protective job” for about 10 months and this has so many things I enjoy about it (being in the Park, being bossy, danger, bears, wilderness . . .) I just have to go.  Let’s hope to meet up again in the fall. I will try to write or at least post some photos and send them to you here.

cat on the planet

Mind your heart and come visit me,











More Lessons From the Queen of the Underworld and Heaven 31 March 6:36 am Blue Moon in Libra (tropical), Virgo (Vedic)

“Instead of being repelled by what is hard to look at, lean in.” ~Jessica Lanyadoo, astrologer

This blog is about the union of opposites, the coincidentia oppositorum, the Tao, the heiros gamos or the coniunctio.  It’s about the wholeness that we forget when all we see is our own perspective.  This world of dualism hangs us on the cross of time and space, sun and moon, inhale and exhale and myriad other extremes.  It’s ALL here.  That’s what love is.  It’s EVERYTHING and NO-thing.

This blog is about yoga.  It’s about inhale and exhale, inspiration and expiration and also about movement and stillness. This blog is about moving emotion through the body with the breath by radically accepting the present moment, the present body, the present limitation in all it’s joy and ache, warp and woof, ebb and flow.

This blog is about Vedic and Tropical astrology.  It’s about the wheel of the zodiac and the way the sign directly across the wheel is the antidote for the trials of the current sign on the calendar. Astrological signs work in pairs of opposites, the wholeness that can be found when we look across the middle (Earth), and thereby unite two extremes: summer tied forever to winter, fall inextricably bound to spring.

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This blog is about seeing your life as a process of becoming.  It’s about shedding layers of old things acquired in the past and revealing the ever-changing always the same nature of naked being.  It’s about rejecting the notion that I should take a photograph or get a diagnosis and decide “this is it, the sum total of who I am!”.  There is always more to learn, more mistakes to make and more to the story.

Once all of these many and varied energies move through the body and the breath and are witnessed and consciously released we have done a service for each other and the planet.  These ten thousand things belong to all of us throughout all time and space, so don’t take it personally when you are called upon to ground some rage our hold some grief, just let it move through. Once compassionately resolved through the technology of your body the earth can recycle and resolve them into oneness.  Just by breathing you’re helping fuel spaceship Gaia.

Even better if you can do it all with the eyes of love and acceptance that we never fully “get it done”.  All the more beautiful if you embrace all, celebrate the twisted and pure, the stunted and straight and all the wondrous variety.  Can you love all the vague, irrational constraints and opportunities in the felt, present moment? Can you feel into yourself and your environment and your cosmos in a way that keeps your heart open?  Can you hold two opposing ideas at once?

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It all seems so hard right now, in my humble opinion, because so much capacity is required just to face the present moment.  It’s ALL here and it’s all moving toward resolution faster and faster.  The challenges keep getting bigger because this moment is the very growth edge of evolution, the penetrating point of spirit in time and space.  The challenges look more and more familiar because they are pulling all the stuck, unprocessed energies from their lodged places in the cycle and the cycle has been long.

Spiritual practice does not exclude.  It expands our capacity and makes us able to withstand more.  More of everything because it’s ALL here and we have to move it through time and space by INCLUDING it ALL.  Embodying it.  Allowing it.  Spirituality takes the clenching tension of being broken open and consciously redirects it by developing the capacity to remain present through expansion.  Spiritual discipline is something you figure out and do.  Tropical sun in Aries means “do, act, embody” Vedic sun in Pisces “spiritually, meaningfully, with great care for the other”.

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We are each an axis of time and space and we are all together at this one time and space.  You come from times and spaces I never visited and I harbor a past you have no knowledge of, but here we are evolving consciousness together, witnessing the edge of happening in a unified moment.  The more we expand the heart of humanity together, the more we allow, include and create capacity, the more we become. The universe grows through us and our mutation. The change need not be gradual. There are collective breakthroughs of perception.

So perhaps, somewhere in the history of the world lies a map of the future.  When the Queen of the Underworld reached her psychic hand into the heart of the Queen of Heaven and yanked her down to hell for a”‘chat” (see previous post), the poem described a cycle that happens over and over through human history.  Someone rises to the top and forgets how they got there, forgets that morality matters as much as success.

There is an adjustment to hubris in most tales, but not in Ereshkigal’s story. In her story when her humble needs are met she shows mercy to her oppressor. The moral of the story is that the Queen of Hell was victimized by Inanna, but she returned the Queen of Heaven to her throne. I think it’s extraordinary. We don’t have enough stories about mercy or words for self love in English.

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Like the galla to Ereskigal, we can listen carefully to our wounding, to the darkest parts of the psyche that must be heard so we do not fall again into woundedness or wounding others.  If we are ever going to be integrated and free we must stop seeing the darkness as something outside of us.  It is us.  No matter what we think the devil is, we need it, we need to accept it and prepare a place at the table because it’s not going anywhere.  It’s us.  Lean in.  Take a good long look. Any further denial will only deepen the crisis.

Only witnessing Ereshkigal can save us from the tyrannical queen of heaven. We must listen, repeat and bear witness to the litany of the pain of the past for any creation or projection to be whole.  Where she has been violated, she must be restored.  Where she has been stolen from we must return her sacred property. Where she has been caged we must set her free.  Above all we must mourn her dead and witness her grief.

Like the German culture bearing witness to the Jewish holocaust; building it into the fibers of its cities, museums and education.  We must not forget. Holding our darkness with the same equinamity as our light represents a type of voluntary ego death.  Until we can hold both without identifying, with out succumbing completely, we are not mature. And we absolutely must mature, we must attain authenticity. Saturn will assure this radical acceptance.

And radical acceptance  is what it will take to pass the test of the coming retrogrades.  Inanna went where she was forbidden.  Everyone told her not to go.  Essentially, this is the stance the west has taken with regard to nature.  All of our ‘animal tendancies’, our rude, self-serving, other-neglecting “shalt-nots” can be seen as symbols for the earth itself.  In essence, western culture says “thou salt not be of the earth”.   It’s impossible.  It’s complete and total denial and the revelation of this time period (see last post) is that any denial of the authentic will deepen the crisis.  There is nothing more authentic than nature. Culture is a sham in comparison.  A sham naming it’s creator “evil” is the height of hubris.

Your body is nature. Jupiter bringing it’s retrograde light and recursive expansion to tropical Scorpio is an opportunity to revisit the  natural technology of your body.  We have somehow forgotten that the body is intensely self-healing and homeostatic.  Visiting your physical darkness, leaning in and taking a BIG whiff will not kill you.  It’s is the source of your power.  The feeling of exhaustion is the symptom, the deep dive of acceptance is the cure.

In the Vedic zodiac Jupiter is retrograde in Libra during this full moon, one of the many aspects of this lunation that point toward relationship with others.  So often we project our darkness onto others.  Especially where we feel lack.  Projection works like this:  I am broke and you are rich so I hate your abundance, I criticize the way you spend your money (man, do I EVER do this).  All the while the real problem is my feeling of lack (and believe me, I know better).  Jupiter will be bringing his expansive illumination to the axis of personal power and powerlessness in relationships of all kinds.

Sidereal chart for the full moon in Vedic Virgo

Inanna is dead and hanging naked on a hook in hell for 3 days.  Sumerians and Eqyptians have elaborate death mythologies and I think what is being symbolized here is that fertile fecundity, the value of the re-boot. There is a beautiful fresco in one of the pyramids of the heart being weighed against a feather.  The outcome is always depicted as positive, but the threat is real: if you believe and burden your heart with the illusions of the world, the abyss awaits to consume you. (It’s cosmic recycling, not to worry.)

I like to think of these 3 days as a balancing, an atonement for Inanna and her sister who can be see as one being.  I like to think that the unconscious, shallow Inanna is being brought into an awareness of the continuum between heaven and hell in the death state.  This is the only way to lighten the heart: to travel through the valley of shadow.  Notice I wrote “travel through” the valley of the shadow, not “build a home” there or “marry” it.  Breathe and move through it, giving careful attention to the details. Mars, Saturn, Lilith and Pluto are all together in this chart; the combination could reassemble reality and bring us into shocking new awareness.

Inanna’s journey is a conquest of dimension.  Working with difficult emotions  and repressed shadow material is no different. It is easy for her to cross the boundary into the darkness, but she needs help to witness and heal her wound, which she has bravely owned by succumbing to it, ‘ded’icating 3 days to it.  Planetary retrogrades help us withdraw from cultural norms and realign with our personal mythologies or individual natural laws.  It is the individual natural law that must be held as the ultimate truth of this life if the heart is to be light enough to survive the Underworld journey.

In the poem, Inanna is helped in the process by 2 little shapeshifters carrying the food and water of life.  These sweet little creatures are not family members, lovers or friends.  they are total strangers.  They offer no judgement and no advice they simply repeat what is said.  They lean in and look over the edge of what is not said in pure witnessing.  They take in the grief, but don’t take on the trauma, how could they? It does not belong to them.  This is the benefit of retrograde: we can revisit the pain without the reaction of immediacy.  When we balance the pain with a light and loving heart, with the spirit (energy, lifeforce) of the organism we level up and atone. Atonement means we admit there are many players, many actors, but one psyche.


If there is one Creative force that brought about the whole cosmos mustn’t all opposites be contained within it? What if the creative force, like us, is a learning creature?  What if Source is unable to see it’s own darkness and hunts for the source of suffering just like we do?  What if the whole project here is to understand and empathize with what appears to be pathology? To evolve our own creations in full awareness of our own shadow and make space for it with empathy at equilibrium?

In the Vedic chart, this full moon falls in Virgo, a sign which sharply feels the guilt of imperfection and compulsively, angrily, critically corrects, perfects and refines. Virgo is the victorious healer banishing disease. Across the axis of the Zodiac is Virgo’s sister, Pisces: two fishes (or are they sharks?) circling in the deep waters of spirit. If we overlay the guilt of unconscious imperfection and evil on this axis it looks something like: guilt linked to atonement yields the victim, the spiritual wound of Pisces, but guilt linked to anger yields the victor, the practical surgeon of Virgo.

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In the confrontation between wound and  healer, self and other is the prima materia to adjust the self, to lean in and befriend the dark parts and claim their wild power.  The sidereal retrograde Mercury also in Pisces implores us to speak the wound to the healer, to give voice to the grief, the injustice and the guilt that is exhausting the desire for separation. In Pisces and the circling of the fishes we perceive the cycle of growth, the penultimate pair pf opposites: separation and union.

The full moon occurs within the aegis of a Mercury retrograde in partnering Libra in the tropical chart and calls attention to his fiery brother Aries the warrior.  This is the axis of the powerless and the powerful an calls us to act: speaking the pain of the past into the present for a massive purge.  Here the mind is saturated with excess thought and the balance is precarious: considered action from Libra and her balance or impulsive, anarchic release from Aries.  A tempering phrase that comes to us from Kim at Evolutionary Astrology will be a helpful mantra: “I initiate with consideration for others”.

Tropical or Western chart of the full moon in Libra.

I feel the highest potential of this full moon is already being realized: so many of us are taking inspired and assertive action against the wound of war.  Fitting that this should come just prior to and in readiness for the final iteration of the Uranus~Pluto square which has been building and rebuilding in for years in the western chart and so in the minds and heart of all of us personally. Isn’t is a relief to feel that we can finally let go of the separating, isolating desire of the ego?  It’s natural and beautiful to exhaust the rugged individualism of 6 centuries and allow the celebration of all that has brought us.

It is also natural, uplifting and undeniable that we should welcome the return of the Queen of the Underworld for Ereshkigal is also Persephone and my personal goddess Dischordia.  This crisis is actually the return of the global village and the death knell for global patriarchal power structures.  We get to finally let it down, admit we got it wrong and embrace the present reality: a world of wonder, light and love that bleeds through all our strategy and pain and illusion.

These are cheap tricks to keep the money and power game going and distract us from the real truth: that  we are love in the world and we have reached the moment of flowering. We must mature and end the wound of separation and heal it with unity.  This is our task.  Each one of us has a valuable part to play in this future as we admit we have run the dominator model long past the expiration date and stop the war machine. Let the healing of the wound of Pisces begin.

“May truth walk through the world unarmed.” ~ Bedouin Proverb

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Queen of the Underworld: New Moon in Pisces 17 March 2018 7:11 am MST

“Emotion is the chief source of all becoming conscious. There can be no transforming of darkness into light and of apathy into movement without emotion.” – C.G. Jung

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In The Descent of Inanna (c. 1900-1600 BCE) 𒈹 Inanna, the Sumerian Queen of Heaven and the universal laws, went to the underworld because her sister Ereshkagil’s husband, the Bull of Heaven, had died. She dressed in gold and jewels and finery.  She made arrangements to alert the gods if she did not return within 3 days.  She made some odd preparations for a compassionate visit.

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“The ways of the Kur are perfect. You may ask no questions,” Inanna was told as she passed the 7 gates into the Underworld and was stripped of her clothing, jewels and defenses. When she finally reached the court she was naked.  Ereshkigal’s judges surrounded her in condemnation, she looked to her sister and saw death in her eyes before Ereshkigal struck her dead and hung her like meat on a hook.

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Innana’s devoted sister-goddess Ninshibur grew alarmed when the goddess did not return after 3 days. She pleaded with all the gods, but none could (or would?) help her.  After all, they warned her: it’s easy to find the road to hell, not easy to find your way home and besides, the only way back is to have someone take  your place.  Evidently no one cared to intervene on Innana’s behalf.  Hmmm . . .

“And so at last Ninshubur visited Enki, God of Wisdom and Water. It was he, after all, who originally blessed Inanna with the gift of the universal laws, for he knew that without Inanna, life on Earth would die. From beneath his fingernails, Enki took dirt and with this he created two new creatures. “Go to Kur and give these gifts to Inanna,” he instructed the creatures as he handed them goblets filled with the food and water of life.” ~

These two androgynous demons or “galla” as they are called, were able to shape-shift.  They traveled like flies through the 7 gates of hell.  When they arrived at the court Ereshkigal was in a state like labor: she’s groaning and suffering and half naked.  These creatures listened to Ereshkigal. “When they reached the throne room, they heard Ereshkigal’s moans. “Oh, my heart and soul,” she wept as she mourned her husband, and the creatures echoed Ereshkigal’s words back to her. “Oh, my heart and soul,” they moaned.” ~

They listen and they repeat her lament to her, bearing witness and showing empathy.  They bring compassion for Ereshkigal along with the food and water of life for Inanna.  It turns out that this myth, interpreted by many as Inanna’s story of Jungian individuation (where you meet your dark side and then become whole) is really Ereshkigal’s story. One couldn’t know this if one were only aware of this single, most popular myth of these goddesses.

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The Descent of Inanna excludes information about we get from The Epic of Gilgamesh where we see a truer picture of the Queen of Heaven’s character: Gilgamesh rejected her sexual advances so she sent Ereshkigal’s husband, Gugulana, The Bull of Heaven to destroy the hero’s realm.  Hundreds are killed before the rampage is stopped by Enkidu, who kills the Bull.  If Inanna set out to console her sister, she was a little late with her compassion.

“Inanna/Ishtar is frequently depicted in Mesopotamian literature as a woman who largely thinks only of herself and her own desires, often at the expense of others,” and yet “There is no known iconography for Ereshkigal or, at least, none universally agreed on.” ~  Indeed, Ereshkigal is best known for her appearance in this poem, Innana’s poem.

I am telling you this story because it’s interesting, but also because I do believe it’s a story about the psyche of the individual, and I think we have been interpreting it wrong for a long time.  “Inanna (later Ishtar of the Assyrians) was among the most popular deities and may have inspired similar goddesses in many other cultures including Sauska of the Hittites, Astarte of the PhoeniciansAphrodite of the Greeks, Venus of the Romans, and perhaps even Isis of the Egyptians.”  But never before of since have we had a goddess of the Underworld, a Queen of Hell.  We may have some hellish female Goddesses, few have their own realm.

I don’t think the Norse concept of Helheim was quite so bloody. It’s where the non-violently dead went to hang out. But I love this painting. I presume the snake and wolf in the background are her brothers?

That realization brings us to our current cosmic weather: the new moon will occur on Saturday, March 17 at 7:11 am, yet we are going to have to pass through many square aspects before we arrive at that reflective, “resting” spot.  This conjunction of sun and moon will occur in the Vedic and Tropical sign of Pisces, the two fishes, the deep depths. In the Tropical chart Neptune (the even deeper deep depth) is here along with Chiron.  I take this as a signpost reading “we are headed straight into the underworld of our own unconscious wounding”. In the Vedic chart Mercury and Venus join the Pisces procession.  Not shallow water.

I have written a lot about the victim/savior axis of Virgo and Pisces in years past, this year I think the emphasis is more Pisces+winter/Aries+spring.  We are not going to wait for a savior if we know ourselves deeply enough to be our own warrior (Aries).   When we learn we do things differently.  When we meet the wounded unconscious self without running from the pain, we can change behavior that keeps us from healing.

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We may feel humble now, but by the Equinox on the 20th we’ll be through some rough squares (Venus and Mercury) to Saturn and ready to shed the stories of the past and proceed harmoniously in our own power. Mercury and Venus will trine the North Node of the Moon in Leo (shine your light, be your joy).  A new, resonant self-valuing awaits.  When Chiron enters Aries the personal age of Pisces ends.  Healed, whole and not buying the history of pain as the food of the future we will own our path forward.  Any denial of the authentic self will only deepen the crisis.

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If you know you have some murderous rage for the many ways you’ve been lied to and manipulated by your culture (for a start), then the revelation of the actual DEPTH of the unconscious spiritual wounding that may come up around the lunation probably won’t catch you by surprise.  If you have pushed your hurt away, rejected it and banished it there may be some shock when the feelings rebound.

And on still yet another hand, if you prefer denial and want to get really unconscious during what could be the most profoundly healing juncture of our lifetimes, there should be lots of people who feel the same way at public St Patrick’s celebrations.  Don’t get me started on THAT saint’s dark side.

Jupiter’s retrograde in Scorpio on the 23rd of March will make use of any consolidation and integration of your previously repressed emotions.  It is difficult, soul searching work to turn a wound into a source of power.  To begin to understand that the unavoidable pain of living is the thing gives us the opportunity to rebuild ourselves stronger, better and more evolved is contact with the source of being.  It is creation.

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There is a rich harvest here from the lessons we have moved through since 12 December 2017.  Don’t let the hard work of knowing yourself (good, bad and indifferent) go to waste.  Honor you, value you.  Jupiter is shining a light on the Scorpionic depths of  your being.  Listen to your darkness.  Let your pain have a voice. Don’t judge, don’t take action, just hear it.  Don’t shy away from what’s hard to look at, lean in. If you are able to witness for someone else just repeat what’s said and maybe say “tell me more”.  Not a good time to try to intervene with any force in someone else’s darkness, IMHO.

Mercury is already in its shadow phase (you can’t make this stuff up) ready to go retrograde in Aries on the 22nd bringing with it the end of “silly season” as Steve Judd calls it.  With all planets direct there’s very little restraint to the wackiness of current events and it feels like we are cartwheeling wildly out of control.  It’s time to REview, REtool, REst, REstore and REawaken to a few home truths about ourselves and our REality.  The outside world is not necessarily going to give you validation, so forgive and love yourself and understand what really matters most to you.

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It’s going to be an expansive, beautiful spring and the energy is moving with great force.  A lot of it does not belong to you.  The collective unconscious is not personal, even though it can feel like it.  We can feel like Ereshkigal: forgotten in the Underworld while our little sister is taking over the world, acting like an ass and killing people. We may need someone who is outside the situation to witness our pain as we let these energies MOVE THROUGH the body.  Your challenge is to empty it all out so you can make room in your being to process more, resolve more, heal more.

The challenges keep getting bigger because we are on the growth edge of planetary evolution; we are the penetrating point of spirit in time and space.  We are the both/and, the inhale/exhale, the only technology in the universe capable of uniting all these varied and wondrous extremes.  Free will is the only thing strong enough to dislodge these stuck energies so do what it takes to support yourself and if need or want an impartial witness LET THEM KNOW THAT before you unload on them, K?  It’ll go better, I bet.

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So, back to Mesopotamia, creation myths and the propaganda of the Inanna/Ereshkigal story.  You may already know that they can be interpreted as two halves of the psyche: the worldly queen of Heaven and the gruesome queen of Hell.  I give Inanna some credit, she could have been repelled by her sisters’ grief, but she leaned in.  Even if she needed the help of a 2 gods and 2 gallas, she replaced her guilt and shame with humility and compassion and made the journey.  She came to a new life by repairing her relationship to herself.

“It is at this point, after Inanna leaves and is given back all that Neti took from her at the seven gates, that someone else must be found to take Inanna’s place. Her husband Dumuzi is chosen by Inanna (he wasn’t exactly mourning her in sackcloth when she returned.~L) and his sister Geshtinanna volunteers to go with him; Dumuzi will remain in the underworld for six months and Geshtinanna for the other six while Inanna, who caused all the problems in the first place, goes on to do as she pleases.” ~ (So you see, this is also the basis for the Persephone/Demeter myth of spring. ~L)

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Holy Ereshkigal! Great is your renown!
Holy Ereshkigal! I sing your praises!
(Wolkstein and Kramer, 89)

“Ereshkigal is chosen as the main character of the work because of her position as the formidable Queen of the Dead, and the message of the poem relates to injustice: if a goddess as powerful as Ereshkigal can be denied justice and endure the sting then so can anyone reading or hearing the poem recited.” ~

I know this is really long, but I have been involved with this material and trying to explain this passage of confusion and grief to myself for a solid month now.  I feel is Ereshkigal in every one of us, even the most privileged among us holds some tragedy, some ache that cannot heal, like she had.  She stumbled out of the stupor of her injury and demonstrated her wholeness.  She was grateful for the only thing we all own that has the power to right all wrongs, compassion, when it was shown to her.  That’s a big deal, to own that in all her pain.  Hell isn’t pleasant, yo.

Pain is not the Queen of the spiritual revolution. Atonement is. Joy is.  Love is. You are.  You can. You will. We are here to witness ALL emotion for the Earth itself.  We are an organ in her living body.  Those who can stay open process more of the collective unconscious.  It’s a sacred service.  We are the galactic organ that transmutes conflict into growth. Please hear and understand your own trauma and thank the pain that once was your teacher.  It’s the greatest thing you can do for the world.

When we get tricked by the bend sinister, the illusion of reality, into blaming each other, our sisters and brothers who bear the same burden, we create duality. Sometimes that separation cannot be healed immediately.  Know that we will atone. Separation is an illusion, a diversion, a journey; a temporary distraction.  It will not survive your free will, your goodwill and your humble connection.

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Between worry and peace there is possibility, between anger and forgiveness there is time, between fear and self-forgiveness there is space, between grief and freedom you stand, connected, whole, at one, breathing, transforming and bringing spirit to the material world.  You bring spirit and matter together in your body. You bring your spirit self into the physical world.  You bring love and appreciation to the Earth.  Release all fear of change.  Allow, receive grace, welcome your own presence here, now. Allow all that has been exiled into the swirling spirals of resolution in your breath.

You are a circulatory process.  Is there something you want to let go of? Breathe it out of your system!  Is there something you want to receive?  Breathe it in! Loosen the ego majik and conditioned voodoo and fill yourself with raw vitality.  “Name with your head and heart and instinct all that you need to to claim your greater health, happiness, compassionate participation and contribution to the whole.  Say the words that will open the path before you through this dire beauty to defiant, glorious joy.”  And do it while you’re in the underworld, just to show off.

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Imagine The World’s Most Vulnerable Needs Met in Surrender, Acceptance and Forgiveness

I am enough. There is enough. I trust my journey, my wounds and my process. I’m not a victim, nor a savior. I am here to heal and be healed, to bless and be blessed in the fire of transformation.

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Sometimes people in spiritual communities talk about “soul contracts”.  I think they mean prearranged agreements or purposes that we made before birth.  To me, this is tasteless.  It’s metaphysical capitalism to say the soul needs any kind of reason to incarnate, like there is some thing we’re supposed to “get” out of life experience.  Life mining?  Extractive living?  No thanks.

What if life experience is the end goal of life?  That works better for my metaphysical aesthetic.  It’s a process that way.  It’s a circle instead of a straight line.  It’s comforting.  Being here, just to be here, to enjoy my life is enough for me. Life becomes limitless when I dissolve any concepts I have about what I “should” be doing.

If it were true, I would be free to do all the things I really want to do: grow my own food, make a beautiful home, explore widely, have long talks, walks and explore with others.  Like Charles Eisenstien says,

The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know Is Possible

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becomes real to me if I’m not here on some mission of attainment.  I can put down the abacus and really be here, now.

This attitude is problematic in our culture.  We have no cultural practice engaging our sympathetic nervous system and “resting and digesting” in all this accelerated evolution. We need to do this urgently (ironic: relax STAT!!!–but so true).  Also we need to play, we need to love and we need to let our hearts guide our heads more.  Our lives have become too urgent, too much of an emergency.  Keeping on like this is taking us too far from healing, wholeness and balance.  It doesn’t make sense anymore to believe in the old story of lack.  We don’t have to create the way we did before.  You are the forge of creation.  Lead with your heart.  Surrender to what you love.

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The March 1 full moon falls in the Vedic sign of Leo.  It tells us to be authentic to our hearts.  Any denial of the authentic self will only deepen the crisis.  Breathe on the fire of your heart instead and dissolve agreements that you made unconsciously.  That was a previous stage of evolution.  We are energy exchange here and now.  “The lesson of Leo, however, is to use this energy generously, sharing it with those around us, not hoarding it greedily. The nature of the Sun is sattvic, and the true potential of Leo is to purify ourselves and then share our divine light with others.” ~ Somya Devi



Consider this.  You put one seed in the ground, what is your return on that investment?  Probably something like 1:100 at a minimum. The investment in lack and hoarding that goes on here on Earth is completely nonsensical. It has built a planet where personal abundance has been hijacked by illusion. We believe in lack.  We buy into scarcity. So deep is this dogma that we cannot even see the imaginary shackles chaining us to deficiency when this is obviously not nature’s truth.  Thankfully, this full moon will help us move this bullshit belief.

You might think that it will take some pretty powerful metaphysical laxatives to clear our collective colon, but there again, what if you are deceived? What if the work is already done?  What if your greatest adversaries have been embodying and amplifying the planetary constipation for you?  What if the hard part is over and now all we’ve got to do is believe what our hearts know is true? (Or what if that has been the hard part all along?)

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Lucky for us, this full moon falls in Purva Phalguni nakshatra, in the very center of the Leo constellation.  It is symbolized by the hammock or the marriage bed and brings us feelings of luxury, sensuality and beautiful, swaying harmony.  Bhaga, the presiding god of this lunar mansion, is both benevolent and blind; generous to all beings with his abundant spiritual and material gifts.  Venus will transit into Pisces a few hours after the lunation (5:51pm MST) and resume the softer incarnation as the evening star in this sign of its’ exaltation.  Knowing when too much of a good thing starts to drown the giving fire is an important discernment Thursday night.

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If Venus is well-aspected, we embody harmonious compromise with people, substances and things. If it occupies a more difficult space, our boundaries may be a little leaky with, well, everything. Here, we board the ferry into the Greek concept pharmakon where it’s a challenge to tell the poison from the cure.  Every concept is 2 things or extremes on a spectrum. What is medicine for one person is deadly poison for another. Dosage is key: all things in moderation including moderation.

Both the Vedic and the western charts are moving toward (the former) or already in (the latter) Piscean waters in March.  The depths there can be hard to navigate without the inclusion of discerning and healing Virgoan influence, Pisces’ opposite sign across the zodiac.  Again, lucky for us, the tropical full moon falls there (all full moons are oppositions of sun and moon). The charts lately are extreme and densely aspected. Even though we have emerged from the kala saarpa imbalance, this travelling stellium of personal planets has all the subtlety of a tsunami.

Here’s the Vedic (sidereal) chart.  The stellium is still in Aquarius.

Here’s the  Western (tropical) chart, with the stellium in Pisces.

I plan to get more involved  with the Pisces stellium later when it happens in the Vedic chart (one reason I take a both/and approach here–I get two chances to understand). There’s a few things to keep in mind: Chiron in Pisces represents the spiritual wound of the Piscean age AND this is super positively aspected, so healing of this “wounded and lacking” mentality may be available in a new way.  There may be a high level of psychic attunement available and creativity is on the rise.  While we are purging and cleaning (Virgo) some amazing new ideas may come.  Being open to connection is great, but overexpansion can happen.  Inflation of ego and delusion are possible.  Trust your intuition.  Be skeptical.  Double check the details.

Pisces is the Omega, the end, the dissolution of certainty, structure and foundation.  The boundaries are washed away with Neptunian depth.  He’s not fond of your fixed identity and will flood the foundations of things you trust.  He will also test your honesty and integrity. This weekend is going to be a soul cleansing process.  Let it happen.  Release the old trauma.  It’s safe to relax in the mystical polarity of Virgo and Pisces if you can keep it in balance and ground yourself.  There is a beautiful spiritual connection on offer, but the absence of connection is also there.  This is an important time to center and align body, mind and spirit with what you really feel is the source of all life.

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The insight I keep returning to is that these cycles help uncover our true nature: any denial of our authenticity will deepen the crisis. Over-identification with either victim or oppressor archetypes will cause contraction, not the needed expansion.  The collective spiritual wounding of Chiron in Pisces is that millions died for their beliefs in the past, but we still have to find a way to believe in the present, or we carry the perpetual wound of the terminal centaur (Chiron shot himself in the leg with a poison of his own creation and could never fully heal it).  Watch the extremes here in the “axis of sacrifice”.

Final words on trauma (for now).  Trauma is a story of the past.  Left unchecked, revisiting the same story repeatedly has been shown to literally drag our cellular body back into the same parasympatheic response (fight or flight) that was experienced in the original wounding.  Neural pathways support this recidivism by literally carving electrical routes in the brain. Despite all that, you are not your experiences, just like you are not your happiness or your sadness.

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While it is not easy and it is (IMHO) the spiritual practice of a lifetime, we must alter the patterns of  past pain if we are going to bless this world with our presence in the present. My only power is here and now and this is the only place where I can evolve beyond what came before.  Abuse and pain are not good teachers.  Their time is over.

We can chose to be good conduits for another kind of learning.  We can hear and validate the story of trauma in order to release, heal and transform it. Those of you who attend lunar yoga know that I believe the breath and bodily movement not only develop our strength and capacity, but they move trauma lodged in the body into the earth, where it can be properly recycled.  But it needs to be heard and validated, not stuffed down and ignored.  Taking the time to be with our feelings is a wisdom that all tantric arts teach, yoga is just one of those many arts.

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There is a beautiful spiritual connection to Gaia becoming available through this full moon that can help us heal and transform traumas effecting our our own personal past and our ancestral stories that are still with us.  The old story that tells us spiritual evolution yields catastrophe is ripe for challenge and it may set your personal creativity on fire.  To the purifying flame.







The Drumbeat Sound of Time

“In the space between chaos and shape there was another chance.” ~Jeanette Winterson


Without the sun and the moon, there could be no life on Gaia.  Our two luminaries are  our wealth as organic beings. We are a part of a circulatory, orbital process so precisely organized that if the dance changed even a little the only organic life in the whole cosmos would end.  Life is too aligned to be random, too fortunate to be chance and too uncanny to be accidental.

The recent partial solar eclipse was another reminder of this phenomena.  The sun, moon and earth lined up exactly in 3 dimensional space on the same elliptical plane. During the solar eclipse we can notice that the sun and moon appear to be exactly the same size from our perspective on Earth. There’s roughly 108 and suns between the earth and the sun, about 108 moons between the earth and the moon.  We notice this during eclipses because our planet sits at just the place where we can (Sam Geppi Yoga and Vedic Astrology).  That’s a lot of coincidences all at once.


This most recent solar eclipse occurred on February 15 2018 at the new moon in Vedic Aquarius in the nakshatra of Dhanista represented by Shiva’s drum.  The sun, the moon, the process of time are like a drumbeat or a heart beat or the movement of a tide.  Take these images and symbols inside and feel the body’s circulatory process with the heart like an amplification device all part of  the one cosmic rhythm. New moon to full moon, solar revolution, lunar revolution, day and night, spring and winter, inhale and exhale; within and without you, above and below you. You are the wholeness in all these pairs of opposites.

This universal connection that you and I inherit calls us to a universal service. This is the Aquarian archetype in it’s highest form where it innovates to protect and serve all life. It asks us to balance and adjust the values, structures and technologies we inherit to evolve a unique and relevant biopsychosocial state to serve the needs of future generations as best we can. This partial new moon solar eclipse found both the sun and moon in Vedic Aquarius, ruled by the evolutionary revolutionary: Uranus.

Because this new moon finds us at the crossroads (or just plain nailed to the cross) of so many extreme dualities, this is a time for releasing identities, ideas and beliefs that no longer serve our current crisis.  The magic at the crossroads is the choice.  It’s an important time to come closer to what we really value, just like a tree pulls the sap in from the branch in winter abandoning the sensual reach of summer.  The dark side of Aquarius is extreme apathy, so if we can use our apathy as a measure of what to prune.  Don’t care?  Jettison it.

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This is the tropical chart of the eclipse.  You may notice it’s imbalance.  The Vedic chart looks the same, except the planets are about 23 degrees behind. All of the planets are on one side of the zodiac. In Vedic Astrology this is called kala saarpa yoga and it denotes a time where shadows and old karmas being brought to light to be dealt with finally.

This process of purification will continue in the waters of Pisces in March, but without the massive imbalance and the extremes we have been seeing around the structure and security of our institutions (Ketu–the north node of the moon–in Capricorn) versus the heart, trust and openness (Rahu–the south node–in Cancer) of the individual.  More on Pisces season in the next blog entry.

For me, the message of this solar eclipse was that any denial of my authentic self would deepen this crisis.  The download for me was to forgive myself and others because the moment I blame someone else I create and enforce another separation.  These false dichotomies litter our mental landscapes and limit our thinking.

Blame and guilt are mirrored back to us and create opposite conclusions based on the same information.  (See it when two people are debating over one thing that has 2 possible interpretations.) This eclipse really brought the kala saarpa home to me as I tried to keep my heart open while I felt embattled with the world outside.


The projection of polarization or outpictured separation is an illusion.  Yes, the sun and moon are different objects, but they are part of one whole system that supports all life.  It’s important to remember that most natural systems self-regulate.  A state of imbalance is the precondition for balance.

Whether we can actually do it or not, the invitation is here now to lose the sense of injustice and deadlocked disagreement.  On the smallest level matter can be neither created nor destroyed so there’s really nothing to be attached to, indignant about or fighting against.  It will all be recycled by the macroprocesses. The easiest way to diffuse the crisis and assuage the pain is to surrender to the alignment of the cosmic rhythm found in nature and let that be the guiding principle. Something larger beckons, if only the ego will allow it.

I like to think of my ego one emotion at a time.  There is no way I can catch every thought and evaluate them individually, but I do try.  When unchecked negative thoughts accumulate for me, I get tsunamied by emotions. So, I know I need to sit and meditate.  That’s what my yoga practice is for, to get my body circulating enough that I can actually sit until I can still my thoughts and process my emotions non-reactively.


Here’s my latest thing I am doing when I don’t have time to do yoga and meditate, to be more present for the processing of emotions (they are NOT for hoarding IMHO):

  • Identify and speak directly to the wound, trigger, violent or unwanted impulse.                                                                                                                                     “This discomfort feels like the way I was disrespected in the past.  I feel    tightness in my throat and my ears are burning (for example).”
  • Name and own the emotion aloud in words.                                                                   “I own and allow my resentment (for example).  I hold you with my breath, my love and my acceptance.  You are allowed to be here.”
  • Thank awareness for bringing this to consciousness and the body for helping you breathe it through.                                                                                                    “Thank you, I accept this Grace. Thank you, body, thank you mind, thank you heart.”

After all, our influence only extends to the boundaries of our bodies, we can only control who and what we are and realize that the highest expression of Aquarius is the sadu in the loincloth; knowing this is all a game and there’s nothing to be attached to since everything is you and you are everything.  When we don’t like what we see outside it may be time to get a hold of the inner process and take the ego to the woodshed.

Lea Hult

Mind your heart, Yoganauts.